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Polish up your writing
---Transform your essay from good to great
(the outline for the teacher)
Learning goals:
1. To learn about the essential factors contributing to a high quality composition.
2. To be able to polish up sentences using the skills you have learnt.
Learning Procedure:
Section 1: Pre-class activities
★Brainstorming-1:
Pictures of excellent graduates.
Success will always favor / bless / embrace those with strong determination but fails those
who lack it.
★Brainstorming-2:
Topic involved.
★Brainstorming-3:
Theme introduced.
What makes a charming person?
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Section 2: While-class activities
★Step 1 Diversify your vocabulary
Students in our class are excellent.
What makes a charming essay?
outstanding/impressive/exceptional/excelling
wonderful/incredible/marvelous/awesome/fantastic
amazing/superb/admirable/unparalleled
incomparable/have no equal/have no parallel
variation:adcanced words
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Example-1 :
In their opinion, to cultivate children's independence is far more important than a good fortune.
Example-2 :
The importance of cultivating children’s independence can never be ignored.
Example-3 :
We need to realize the importance to deal with this problem more than ever before.
Example-4 :
面对巨大的学业压力，学生往往会利用体育课来补作业(2019 南京盐城一模)
Example-5 :
The picture vividly shows a common phenomenon that people tend to keep a distance from others even
significant/essential/vital/crucial/beneficial/be of significance
neglected /overlooked/ underestimated
be aware of ; be conscious of; be awake to ; wake up to
address; cope with
faced with; confronted with; facing ; in face of
take advantage of; make use of; make the best/ most of
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if they want to do sth simple ,avoid chatting and eye-catching (2019 苏锡常镇一模)
Example-6 :
For those with special needs ,such as the blind ,audio books can be a good innovation (2019 南京模拟)
Example-7 :
Parents who set too high expectations may have a negative effect on children's growth and health.(2019
南通二模)
Game time: Introduce your hobby
Introduce your hobby using some phrases. Avoid using verbal phrases mentioned by others.
I like music.
mirrors/ demonstrates
fantastic……
excessively; exert
be keen on be crazy about
be drunk with be mad about
be hooked on be addicted to
be enthusiastic about & have a great enthusiasm/ passion for
variation: Phrases come first
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Example-1 :
From my perspective, parents should spare no effort to understand their children.
Parents should put themselves in other’s shoes(谚语)
Example-2 :
Now students are always buried in so much homework that they usually have no time to exercise, which
contributes to obesity. (2019 南京盐城一模)
Example-3 :
On-line voting becomes more and more popular, and many competitions have people take part in it .
(2016 江苏卷作文）
Example-4 :
gain a true insight to
Nowadays / currently can’t spare time gives rise to
becomes increasingly popular / enjoys its popularity / enjoys
its currency
get people involved in it
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We should always remember that in order to promote Chinese culture globally, we still have a long way
to go.
Example-5 :
Despite the fact that Chinese students can have better academic performance than others ,Chinese
education is a typical exam-oriented education in which students are burdened with piles of homework
Chinese students are superior to students in other countries in academic.
1.Clauses (noun clauses, attributive clauses, adverbial clauses)
2.Non-finite verbs(to do, doing, done )
3.“It” sentences(cleft sentences)
4.Inverted sentences
5.Subjunctive mood
6.Special sentence patterns
Example-1 :
In fact, traffic rules are part of the rules and regulations closely related to public order and without those
regulations people couldn't enjoy harmonious and peaceful environment.
Tips: attributive clause
bear/ keep in mind
give students an edge over others
variation: Advanced sentence structures
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In fact, traffic rules are part of the rules and regulations closely related to public order, without which
people couldn't enjoy harmonious and peaceful environment
Example-2 :
When we view these behaviors as a normal phenomenon，we can truly embrace a multicultural society
where every individual lives in harmony with others
Tips: Inversion
Only when we view these behaviors as a normal phenomenon can we truly embrace a multicultural
society where every individual lives in harmony with others
Example-3 :
Though it may be convenient to employ robots, they may take over the jobs now done by humans ,
resulting in many people losing their jobs .
Convenient as it may be to employ robots, they may take over the jobs now done by humans , resulting
in many people losing their jobs
Example-4 :
这种现象如果不及时处理，会引发严重的社会问题。
Tips: Non-finite verbs
This phenomenon, if not dealt with in time, will eventually give rise to some serious social problems.
Example-5 :
如果没有父母恰当的指导，孩子可能会偏离正确的道路。
Tips: Subjunctive mood
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But for parents’ proper instructions, children might depart from the right path.
Without parents‘ proper instructions , children might depart from the right path
Example-6 :
Under the Belt and Road, concrete projects and measures should be taken to be consistent with local
demands to accelerate economic development.
Tips: passive voice
Top priority should be given to issue some precisely-targeted laws and regulations tailored for the
development of rural regions
Step 2: Practice and Presentation
Polish up the sentences using the skills you have learned.
●原句呈现：A lot of overseas universities consider admitting more Chinese students by Gaokao, one of
the examples is the Cambridge. That shows Gaokao is popular around the world.
Explicitly illustrated above is a phenomenon that ...
... will eventually give rise to ...
It is universally acknowledged that ...
it largely depends on ...
Excellent education of parents will definitely help shape their kids good personalities
Before long, many of these would undoubtedly end up in...
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An increasing number of overseas universities take Gaokao scores into consideration for new
admission, including the university of Cambridge, which indicates that Chinese Gaokao receives
more recognition globally.
●原句呈现：In my opinion, I am for the attempt.
From my perspective, I applaud the practice/trend.
From where I stand, I strongly back up the trend.
●原句呈现：From this phenomenon, we know that Chinese education is becoming stronger mainly
because many good teachers contribute to it.
This phenomenon reveals that high-quality Chinese education is being acknowledged by the world,
resulting from numerous diligent and ambitious teachers and educational workers in China.
●原句呈现：Chinese education develops so fast that it pays much attention to students’ critical thinking
and creativity.
With the development of domestic education, more emphases have been laid on students’ critical
thinking along with their innovation.
●原句呈现： Chinese students are good at study and have improved their abilities. All of these are
reasons why overseas universities want to admit them.
Outstanding academic performance and good comprehensive abilities of Chinese students are
another main factors that attract overseas universities.
●原句呈现： We need to take action to improve the global recognition of Gaokao.
In order for Gaokao to be acknowledged by the world better, feasible measures are needed to
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improve it.
To earn more recognition and appreciation globally, precisely-targeted measures should be taken.
●原句呈现：We ‘d better change Gaokao assessment and evaluation measures to meet the needs of
our society.
Assessment and evaluation measures of Gaokao are supposed to undergo overall reform to better
meet the needs of contemporary society.
●原句呈现： The government should change the present education system and provide more choices
for students, so they can choose their favorite subjects.
The government should better the exam-oriented education system, providing multiple selections
for students who therefore can choose their subjects based on their interest.
Section 3: After-class activities
Polish up your essay and after class contact each other by email.
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